Counseling

There are many types of counseling. We are going to look at psychological counseling. This would include individuals, couples, and family counseling. The foundation of counseling is based on trust. First, this trust is defined in the legal confidentiality agreement. But even more importantly is the trust between client and therapist. This is where the success happens. All counseling sessions have varying degrees of vulnerability. Therefore, the personal trust the client has with the therapist is paramount.

Finding a counselor.

It is important to get two or three counseling referrals. Then meet with each referral to experience yourself with them. Use your intuition, your heart, and your gut. Then ask yourself, which one could I trust with vulnerable feelings, memories, and dreams. Counseling will be deeper, faster and then actually cheaper when you feel safe with a potential counselor, therapist, or psychologist. The professional credentials are important but your emotional safety is key.

The process of counseling involves curiosity and exploration.

The counselor needs to ask questions. These questions are mostly for the client. This is so the client can eventually find his or her own inner counselor. The process begins a lifelong journey of reflection, and self discovery. For example, if I am having a problem with another person, the counselor is going to ask; What is coming up? This is a simple question, but what you as a client feel, remember, or imagine is partially unknown and needs to be explored.  Most of the time when we’re having a problem with another person, we think it is them. But when we explore more deeply what the other person brings up in us, we find there is more to this situation. The other person may just remind us of someone in our past.  The other person is just a trigger. Then counseling can shift to where the real problem exists, a struggle inside. If we try to only fix the problem on the outside nothing will change and the inner struggle will remain and get worse.

Sorting out

When we can recognize, name and talk about our feelings, memories and imaginations, then we are better able to sort out and heal what is mine and then what belongs to the other person. This insight can take the pressure off. It is humbling to recognize our part of the problem.

One of the most difficult parts of counseling is the experience of vulnerability and emotional pain. But with a good counselor there is safety and the difficulty is minimized and transformed into  psychological balance within yourself and empathy for others.