Dealing with depression is explained very clearly on WebMD.com, including the levels of severity and types of treatment for depression. If your depression is severe, get help now. However, here I would like to begin to look into what depression means and how to heal it. First, let’s take the word, “dealing”. It seems to imply a nuisance or something in the way that I need to get rid of. But in fact, depression is a message, that a part of myself is hurting and it is not to be ignored.
No way to live
Inside something is being “depressed”, pushed down or pushed in. Some sensations, feelings, memories, images, dreams, thoughts, intuitions, get pushed away. There is a shutting off to internal experiences because they are overwhelmingly painful and confusing. Shutting off the inner world is important to a small degree, but it is no way live.
So, “dealing” could be replaced with questions, such as; “What is this pain about?”, “What is it trying to tell me?”, “What makes the pain of depression worse?”. “What doesn’t work in dealing with depression?” Questions start the healing process and begin to expose themes within the depression.
The themes of depression are deeply personal and complex, it seems like it should be easier. However, there is a way to relate to the depression, just as there is a way to relate to outer situations. It can be easier to unravel the depression by just naming some basic themes that dominate your thoughts and feelings. Such as, “I am so worthless”, “I hate life”, “what’s the point”, “this sucks”, etc. These themes are usually centered around themes of not enough, emptiness, or loss. For example, “I’m not good enough”, “I am alone”, “I am a failure”,etc. Yes, there are parts of ourselves that are empty, empty of worth, empty of love, empty of stability and so forth. The mistake is thinking that our whole being is empty and worthless.
It’s ours now
If we look at our parents, culture and then ancestors, we can find the empty roots that were inherited. All the way from not enough love, not enough guidance, not enough education, and not enough emotional and physical safety. Yes, it is true, of course there are the effects from the past, but now they are for us to “deal” with or let’s say learn about, so they do not have to be handed down to the next generation or effect our lives in the present.
Yes, it is important to go through the hurt, anger and loss of our past. This helps to clarify the parts or pieces of ourselves that got “depressed”, so they can gradually be brought back. We can say they are parts of our soul that got broken off, displaced. So much of this can be healed, just by telling our stories. It is not complaining or whining about the past if you really tell the whole story. This takes people who will listen in a way that is not dismissive or will not say, “get over it”. The most important part is opening your emotional pain, by first writing, then sharing it with people who can hear you. Make sure it is with people who can hear you, otherwise it repeats the cycle of rejection. I have never met a worthless, or unlovable person, but I have met many people who are sad and confused.
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