The famous saying goes, “To err is human”, but why does it feel so bad when we make a mistake? Whether it’s something small and insignificant or a decision that has made a huge impact on our lives, dealing with failure is a thing that we’ll all have to face multiple times in life. These missteps are not what should be focused on though, as it’s the way we learn how to move on and deal with failure that really matters.
10 Ways for How to Move On After Failure
If you’ve recently failed at something and are having trouble moving on, these strategies can be helpful in learning how to move on. As we’re bound to mess up at various times in our life, knowing how to deal with it will be the most valuable lesson you’ve ever learned. Follow these tips to learn from your mistakes rather than dwell on them.
Own the Feeling
So, you’ve messed up and are feeling pretty rotten about it. These feelings are completely normal and all part of the process, so rather than trying to bury them or push them away, simply let them be. Give yourself time to grieve if a plan has failed or if you’ve worked so hard on something to have it just go wrong again.
You won’t learn anything by pushing this feeling away, and it’s important to feel it and get comfortable with it. Just because you feel as though you’ve messed up or let yourself down again, it doesn’t mean there’s nowhere you can go from here. It’s okay to wallow in your sorrow for a little while until you’re ready to get started again on moving forward.
Know That You’re Not A Failure
People often associate a mistake with being a failure, and if they continue to make them then it can be hard to shake that feeling. Don’t get caught in these feelings that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you give them too much life. If we start telling ourselves we’re a failure then it’s easier to just give up rather than continue trying.
Mistakes are temporary and we have to be expected to work hard at things that are truly worthwhile. See every mistake as a lesson and not a thing that defines you as a person. There’s no such thing as a failure, and having this negative attitude will one serve to bring you down.
See It As Feedback
Getting feedback from someone we respect can be a truly great thing and a way to teach us things that we might not have realized before. This is key for knowing how to look at your own failures and see what may have gone wrong. Ask yourself these questions to get some real feedback on the situation and see where you can improve:
- Where did I go wrong?
- What’s the most important thing I can learn from this mistake?
- What adjustments should I make to avoid this from happening again?
- Is there something I can do to do a little better next time?
Make notes of your answers and try to view them as if they were handed back to you from someone you respect. It will give you honest feedback that you can actually use to move forward.
View Things From A Different Point of View
It’s often said that we are our own worst critics, and this couldn’t be truer than when we’re looking at the mistakes we’ve made. Try to switch up the point of view in which you see yourself from feeling like a failure to instead feeling as if you’re trying new things and not giving up.
Numerous studies have proven just how effective positive thinking can be, especially when it comes to changing our habitual thoughts and emotions. Don’t wallow in that negative persona that critiques every single thing you’ve ever done, but rather switch up your view to that of a supportive friend.
Remind Yourself Failure Is Part of the Process
There’s not one person on earth who came up with a brilliant idea, executed it without flaw and got worldwide admiration on their first show. So, why would you be any different? Remind yourself of these famous minds and just how long it took them to achieve their dreams and you’ll see why making mistakes is a completely normal thing.
- Stephen King’s first book that he submitted to publishers was Carrie, which was rejected 30 times before he had success.
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from her very first job on TV because she was apparently unfit for the work.
- Thomas Edison reportedly had over 10,000 failures when he was inventing the light bulb, along with his countless other inventions.
Talk About It With Someone You Trust
Sometimes when we mess up, we want to keep it a secret. Sharing with others that we’ve failed can seem like admitting defeat and we don’t want to face the criticism that people might have. However, this strategy won’t work if you ever want to move on, and so you need to give your mistakes some light.
Talking to someone you trust and respect about your failures will be great for two reasons. First, it will prevent you from bottling it up and obsessing over it. Secondly, you may be able to see things from another perspective and get some ideas on how to move forward. Either way, it’s a great approach to try.
Get Support and Inspiration From Others
Do some research on people in your field or those with similarities to yourself and seek inspiration. There usually discussion boards, forums, meetings, conferences, podcasts, and a whole range of other ways to speak to or hear from likeminded individuals who share your passion and have had their own success and failures.
Most great things were never done by just one person, so don’t try to do it all on your own. Seek help, ask for guidance, and bounce your ideas off other people to see what new things you might be able to come up with. You might not only help yourself but others as well, which will surely boost your confidence.
Let Go of the Failure
Obsessing over the fact that you made a mistake won’t be healthy at all, so once you’ve spent some time accepting it and assessing it, it’s time to let it go. Don’t dwell on the mistakes you’ve made for too long otherwise you might find it hard to step away from them and move onto the next stage of planning your comeback.
Take a note from Don Shula, the NFL coach with the most career wins in the history of the sport, about his process of moving on. He gave himself and the team 24 hours to feel down about a defeat or celebrate a success, and then it was time to move onto the next challenge.
Plan and Action
Once you’ve accepted the mistake and started to move on, you’ll need to get a plan in place about where to go next. Even before you execute the plan, these early stages will help get your motivation back and pick you up out of the slump you might have been in from making a mistake.
Develop a detailed plan and actually start putting the points into action. You’ll likely find that once you get fixated on this new plan and what’s required of you, the past mistakes will eventually all blur into one and you’ll barely remember why you were so down about such a simple little failure.
Boost Your Confidence
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that a mistake knocked you down a bit. When we’re working towards something that makes us passionate it can hurt a whole lot when it doesn’t happen the way we hoped it would. Usually, our self-esteem takes a bit of a beating and may even need to be built up again.
Take some time to make a list of all of the things you have succeeded at and how you’ve gotten as far as you have. A simple gratitude list that makes a note of everything you’re grateful for will also give your confidence a boost. When we’re feeling sure of ourselves then we’re more likely to make confident and smart decisions, so it’s worth giving your self-esteem a prop up as well.
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