I wrote in the last post: The primary objective of marriage and family counseling is to improve relationships. There is a method to having satisfying relationships. It is not just a free for all.
There are particular skills and guidelines just as there are skills and guidelines for driving a car. You don’t get to smash into someone, just because you are frustrated with their driving style. And if you do, there are ways to clean up the mess and learn to be a better driver.
Learning From Family Counseling
Then in the post: Family Therapist, We are in this Together
A family therapist helps with the confusion and hurt as families move through the natural changes in life. The family therapist asks, “What is this problem trying to teach us?” Everyone has something to learn in family therapy, even the therapist. The fluctuations of emotional intimacy and emotional distance are always there, but there are ways to bridge that gap to provide quality in relationship, rather than just enduring painful situations without meaning, or resigning ourselves to, “this is as good as it gets”.
This post described the environment needed in a family. Families need emotional safety so natural life changes can be talked about and the emotional responses to these various changes can be expressed. The question of: “What is there to learn from this situation?” is more useful than the question, “Who is to blame?”, thus the title: “We are in this together”
The marriage and family therapist provides this environment until the family feels ready to live what they have learned without the family therapist. The parents understand their jobs more clearly and the children feel safe, which helps them to grow into the next step.
Many times the result of Family Counseling is to work more specifically with the couple or single parent in sessions without the children. It can also be very useful for a child to have individual sessions to work through places they are stuck or just to get support through a difficult time of life.
The following posts address parenting:
Parenting Teens, Ten Basic Attitudes
