“I need help” means a lot
To admit that I need help is huge. It means I am ready to surrender something: resistance to change, false pride, coping mechanisms that no longer work, skewed perceptions of myself and reality, and the resistance to our inherent vulnerability as people.
The first step is admitting I need help, saying it to yourself, even yelling it out loud.
The second step is getting help: Talking to the right person
Sharing vulnerability with the wrong person is a common mistake. Sometimes family members, partners, friends, and co-workers don’t know how to listen, or don’t have the necessary life experience to help. Also, they may be part of the confusion and hurt that you are trying to sort out.
Its important to choose someone with whom you feel safe, someone that knows how to listen without judgement, and someone that has a little wisdom in your area of difficultly.
Do I need professional help?
Getting professional help is the safest because most professionals understand the basics of hearing without judgement, the basics of emotional distress, and how to untangle personal and interpersonal problems. A previous post on the topic: Finding a psychotherapist: http://www.todaystherapist.net/finding-psychotherapist/
If you are having suicidal feelings, call someone trained in that area, such as a professional psychotherapist or the national suicide prevention lifeline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Here is a post I wrote last month on suicide: http://www.todaystherapist.net/suicidal-ideation-ego-death/
Free on-line chat rooms
One of the best sources of help in an on-line chat room is: http://www.7cupsoftea.com It is a site specific to listening to those who need help. Their focus is good quality listening, they are not professionals but good listeners and it is free.
However, most professionals understand the complexity of our problems and are able to guide us through the subtleties of relationship with ourselves and others. Sometimes, it takes more than a good listener.
Do I Need Therapy?
In a previous post I wrote: Instead of asking your self, “Do I need therapy?”, first ask your self, “Would I like some help with my confusion?”, “Would I like support with feeling over whelmed?”, “Would I like to understand relationships better?”, and so on. Basically, “What would I like a little help with?” These sorts of questions help us clarify the first question of, “Do I need therapy?” http://www.todaystherapist.net/need-therapy/
Taking psychological tests on line, such as, mental disorder tests, mental illness tests or personality disorder tests may give you a little insight into what areas you are struggling in but more importantly find a therapist and tell them what sucks for you. It is their job to help you sort out what’s what because sometimes you don’t even know what the problem is, life just sucks.
