Marriage counseling with one person is focused on the marriage. The non-attending partner may not be ready or may never be ready. Someone in the marriage needs to begin. The emotional pain and confusion in the marriage is both personal and relational. What is my work? What is your work? And what is our work?
Marriage counseling with one person can begin as a consultation on how to approach attitudes and communication styles that are no longer useful. Then at some point the other partner may be ready to come in or get their own therapist or even decide on someone else for couples therapy.
Marriage counseling with one person helps one talk with their partner about the benefits of individual counseling and or couples counseling. Many do not know what to expect from counseling or they had a bad experience with counseling.
Marriage counseling with one person provides the skill to help the non-attending partner begin the conversations of a meaningful life together. It helps connect language with the intent to be respectful of each other’s sensitivities.
Marriage counseling with one person is sometimes easier than couples therapy with a partner in the room because it allows the individual a private discovery of sensitive issues, yet to be shared with one’s partner.
Marriage counseling with one person provides individual attention to traumas that could be intolerable sharing with one’s partner in the room. Some traumas require privacy first before they can be shared with loved ones and then with a group for greater healing.
Marriage counseling with one person can help sort out if couples therapy is necessary or who might be the best couples therapist given the couples dynamic.
Marriage counseling with one person is a way to get support during a time of divorce or breakup. It provides a way to separate with the least amount of damage, which in turn is less painful for both. It is painful enough without adding unnecessary hurt.
Marriage counseling with one person can sort out generalized anger at men or women that would be more difficult in a couples session.
Marriage counseling with one person can provide language skills to talk with the non-attending partner in a more productive way. Non-productive dialogue gets lost in blame, or distancing which makes dialogue ineffective.
Marriage counseling with one person begins to look at childhood experience and how that effects the marriage. Most relationship problems are an acting out of childhood relationships. That is why it can be so difficult to sort out what’s what in a marriage.
Marriage counseling with one person begins to discover what is mine to deal with and what is yours to deal with. I cannot expect the other to do my work.
Marriage counseling with one person identifies how I trigger my partner and how my partner triggers me. Then each person can begin their own work and not hold the other responsible when they are just a trigger to something in me.
Marriage counseling with one person can help untangle the parents and relatives that are infecting the marriage and those that could help.
Marriage counseling with one person can identify parenting strategies that have become power struggles. When one person stops the power struggle many times the other naturally follows because it is easier to work as a team.
